I say

I have an unfortunate name and just let me tell you why:

OK Here it is: DENISE

Play the change one letter game and you get: demise or penise
Play the eliminate one letter game and you get: dense

Then there's all the loosely rhyming stuff:
disease
denise the beast (cousins thought of this one while I was in my formative years)
deniser the greaser (this came from highschool...



...let it land.
uh huh.
i know.
just nasty.)

There's the ability to simply pronounce it offensively without even really changing it:
DUUUUUH-niece. (This originated in camp but my friend's dad still does it for laughs. Fucking hilarious.)

There are also unfortunate names that people use accidentally instead of denise:
dianne
debbie

(I hate these as much as or more than denise)

Finally there is the old: Hey De-niece, how's De-nephew?


Sometimes at 7:30 am on a Sunday I get a bit down about my stupid name. I guess if elf up popped in right now to share some optimism, there IS a bright side to all this. The archives say that mumsy and dad were at a toss-up between two girls names....

My friends... I was almost a Noreen!!!!

(If you're wondering what this has to do with dating, I'm in a long term relationship with myself and I think I may need to end it because this name sucks!)

Bye!

D

Let me take a moment to

be drunk and truthful.

No one will ever compare.