You know those classic anxiety dreams about writing a test for which you've not studied or leaving for a trip when you haven't packed? I had a great variation on that last night...
I dreamt that I was invited to play the role of Maria in a production of The Sound of Music. I arrived at the theatre and to my surprise - it was the night of the production and a huge audience was already assembled in their seats.
Unfortunately, I had no costume (ironic given my 2007 Hallowe'en costumes!) so clearly the logical priority was to cut one haphazardly from material and pretty much wrap it around myself. I had never met the cast, seen the script or reviewed my lines. The organizer quickly brought me to the front and suddenly I was on the stage with several other actors. I had no idea what part of the play we were at (clearly not the beginning of the movie - otherwise I could have unleashed my 'the hills are alive' number with reasonable ease and excellent enthusiasm. I stood there stupidly and someone tried to feed me my line. I just looked at everyone incredulously. I didn't even get to any singing!
Now we get to the part I'm proud of. Someone tried to imply that I was unprepared, didn't know my lines etc. I fought back! I started telling everyone off, dropping rapid fire f bombs like this: "I'M FUCKING UNPREPARED??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHO THE FUCK PUTS ON A PLAY WITHOUT EVER HAVING MET THE PERSON PLAYING THE FUCKING LEAD? WHY THE FUCK HAVE WE NEVER REHEARSED? WHAT IS THIS FUCKING AUDIENCE DOING HERE WHEN I DON'T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING COSTUME?? YOU GUYS ARE FUCKED UP!!!"
Isn't that awesome? I let it all out. That never happens in real life! Yay me.
D
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