Sunday, January 20, 2008

Stupid Dream People Union

So when it comes to dreaming, I've always considered myself to be a lucky duck.  Remembering dreams, vivid details, clever story lines, good sex ... etc. can't complain.  

My claim to dream fame though, has been the rare occasions when I realize WHILE dreaming that I AM dreaming, yet I don't wake up.  This tends to happen when I have gotten a lot of sleep (ie 9 hrs +) and no alarm wakes me.  In these instances, I always do one or more of three things:

1) Fly / swoop / push through walls.  I also like to 'liberate' others in my dream by telling them "This is my dream... you can fly too."  Then it turns into a big flying and swooping fest and everyone is happy.  I also push through walls and jump off really high things just to experience freedom from the usual waking constraints imposed by gravity, matter, etc.  This is cool.

2) Sex.  I walk up to some random dream person (male, female, old, young, hot, heinous - doesn't seem to matter) and say "This is my dream.  Have sex with me."  It seems to be a matter of instant gratification rather than an attempt to find the most attractive partner.

3) Smoking.  Many of you who have known me for years know I used to be an avid smoker (almost a pack a day at the beginning of university).  When I realize I'm dreaming I also like to smoke a cigarette or ten and tell bystanders "I can do this because I'm dreaming."  I remember one time I even took a lit cigarette and put it out in my hand just to bring the fact home for them.

RECENT TROUBLES

Lately I haven't really thought much about the flying or the smoking and have gone straight for the goods - instant sexual gratification oh yeah!  This is how I was alerted to trouble.  A few weeks ago I realized I was dreaming and walked up to a random Indian man in a convenience store.  I used my usual pick-up line "This is my dream.  Let's have sex."  Dammit ... this guy would NOT do it!!!!  He didn't really give a reason and it wasn't an altercation or anything.  It just was not happening.

Upon waking reflection I became worried - was this dream proof that I am not actually in control of all the variables?  Or did those dream people get sick of being violated by me and decide to unionize?

MORE TROUBLE

Last night I was in the middle of a not so pleasant dream of which I can't exactly recall the plot but the stakes were high and it was rushy and scary - I was driving resources to some big factory and arrived at the factory entrance - not sure where to go or what to do.  Inside, there was a receptionist type woman off to the side at a workstation thingy surrounded by intimidating machines, dark spaces, conveyor belts etc.  All of a sudden I said to myself  "This situation I preposterous - I would never be here doing this.  Clearly, this is a dream."  The minute I had the realization I knew I was right.  I walked over to the woman at her workstation.  She was facing her computer and her back was to me.

I don't know what I intended to say or do exactly but I do know that I did NOT plan to make her have sex with me.  I think I was going to tell her it was my dream and she needn't work anymore at whatever she was doing since the whole dark scary factory was an illusion.  Well as I approached her, she turned around suddenly - Instead of a normal human face, she had the face of a robot or horror movie hockey-mask thing.  Smooth plastic with holes and a face shape.  It scared the CRAP OUT OF ME and I immediately woke up!!!

WTF?????  

I'm seriously not amused.  I have enough trouble with real life people and problems.  I have to compromise, be reasonably considerate, think long term, "let it unfold", suck it up, make the best of things that are "not perfect"... you get it.  I don't want any freakin' hassles from these dream people.  No scaring.  No prudes.  No questions.  Just do whatever the hell I want, when and how I want it.  Fuckers.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am currently reading a book called Intuitive Healing which you might find interesting. Dr. Orloff, the author, believes that dreams are speaking to us, that they are part of our intuition and if we let ourselves hear them, we can greatly improve our lives.
Dr. Judith Orloff also has several mini-lectures on YouTube. Judith Orloff MD on YouTube

Unknown said...

I've seen Dr. Orloff's videos and have enjoyed them very much. Because of them I ordered and just read her book Positive Energy. It was very good and just as witty and personable as she is in her videos. Wish I could fly in my dreams. :)