Stupid Dream People Union

So when it comes to dreaming, I've always considered myself to be a lucky duck.  Remembering dreams, vivid details, clever story lines, good sex ... etc. can't complain.  

My claim to dream fame though, has been the rare occasions when I realize WHILE dreaming that I AM dreaming, yet I don't wake up.  This tends to happen when I have gotten a lot of sleep (ie 9 hrs +) and no alarm wakes me.  In these instances, I always do one or more of three things:

1) Fly / swoop / push through walls.  I also like to 'liberate' others in my dream by telling them "This is my dream... you can fly too."  Then it turns into a big flying and swooping fest and everyone is happy.  I also push through walls and jump off really high things just to experience freedom from the usual waking constraints imposed by gravity, matter, etc.  This is cool.

2) Sex.  I walk up to some random dream person (male, female, old, young, hot, heinous - doesn't seem to matter) and say "This is my dream.  Have sex with me."  It seems to be a matter of instant gratification rather than an attempt to find the most attractive partner.

3) Smoking.  Many of you who have known me for years know I used to be an avid smoker (almost a pack a day at the beginning of university).  When I realize I'm dreaming I also like to smoke a cigarette or ten and tell bystanders "I can do this because I'm dreaming."  I remember one time I even took a lit cigarette and put it out in my hand just to bring the fact home for them.

RECENT TROUBLES

Lately I haven't really thought much about the flying or the smoking and have gone straight for the goods - instant sexual gratification oh yeah!  This is how I was alerted to trouble.  A few weeks ago I realized I was dreaming and walked up to a random Indian man in a convenience store.  I used my usual pick-up line "This is my dream.  Let's have sex."  Dammit ... this guy would NOT do it!!!!  He didn't really give a reason and it wasn't an altercation or anything.  It just was not happening.

Upon waking reflection I became worried - was this dream proof that I am not actually in control of all the variables?  Or did those dream people get sick of being violated by me and decide to unionize?

MORE TROUBLE

Last night I was in the middle of a not so pleasant dream of which I can't exactly recall the plot but the stakes were high and it was rushy and scary - I was driving resources to some big factory and arrived at the factory entrance - not sure where to go or what to do.  Inside, there was a receptionist type woman off to the side at a workstation thingy surrounded by intimidating machines, dark spaces, conveyor belts etc.  All of a sudden I said to myself  "This situation I preposterous - I would never be here doing this.  Clearly, this is a dream."  The minute I had the realization I knew I was right.  I walked over to the woman at her workstation.  She was facing her computer and her back was to me.

I don't know what I intended to say or do exactly but I do know that I did NOT plan to make her have sex with me.  I think I was going to tell her it was my dream and she needn't work anymore at whatever she was doing since the whole dark scary factory was an illusion.  Well as I approached her, she turned around suddenly - Instead of a normal human face, she had the face of a robot or horror movie hockey-mask thing.  Smooth plastic with holes and a face shape.  It scared the CRAP OUT OF ME and I immediately woke up!!!

WTF?????  

I'm seriously not amused.  I have enough trouble with real life people and problems.  I have to compromise, be reasonably considerate, think long term, "let it unfold", suck it up, make the best of things that are "not perfect"... you get it.  I don't want any freakin' hassles from these dream people.  No scaring.  No prudes.  No questions.  Just do whatever the hell I want, when and how I want it.  Fuckers.